Childfree Wealth®

Forced Adulting

December 06, 2023 Dr. Jay Zigmont, CFP® & Bri Conn Episode 53
Forced Adulting
Childfree Wealth®
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Childfree Wealth®
Forced Adulting
Dec 06, 2023 Episode 53
Dr. Jay Zigmont, CFP® & Bri Conn

​​The Childfree Wealth Podcast, hosted by Bri Conn and Dr. Jay Zigmont, CFP®, is a financial and lifestyle podcast that explores the unique perspectives and concerns of childfree individuals and couples. In this episode, Bri & Dr. Jay discuss the concept of forced adulting.


The concept of forced adulting came from a client. As Dr. Jay walked through the financial planning process with them, they referred to it as forced adulting. Simply put, it’s accountability in getting done the things you need to do. When working with clients, each month we focus on one or two things allowing clients to complete tasks without feeling too overwhelmed. While these tasks can be completed on your own, sometimes it’s easier to have professional help to answer questions & provide accountability.


Resources:


Like the show? Leave us a rating & review. If you want to join the conversation, email us at podcast@childfreewealth.com, follow Childfree Wealth® on social media, or visit our website www.childfreewealth.com!


Stay up to date with Childfree Wealth® by signing up for our newsletter here! Schedule a meeting with a Childfree Wealth Specialist® here!


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Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational & entertainment purposes. Please consult your advisor before implementing any ideas heard on this podcast.

Show Notes Transcript

​​The Childfree Wealth Podcast, hosted by Bri Conn and Dr. Jay Zigmont, CFP®, is a financial and lifestyle podcast that explores the unique perspectives and concerns of childfree individuals and couples. In this episode, Bri & Dr. Jay discuss the concept of forced adulting.


The concept of forced adulting came from a client. As Dr. Jay walked through the financial planning process with them, they referred to it as forced adulting. Simply put, it’s accountability in getting done the things you need to do. When working with clients, each month we focus on one or two things allowing clients to complete tasks without feeling too overwhelmed. While these tasks can be completed on your own, sometimes it’s easier to have professional help to answer questions & provide accountability.


Resources:


Like the show? Leave us a rating & review. If you want to join the conversation, email us at podcast@childfreewealth.com, follow Childfree Wealth® on social media, or visit our website www.childfreewealth.com!


Stay up to date with Childfree Wealth® by signing up for our newsletter here! Schedule a meeting with a Childfree Wealth Specialist® here!


Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn


Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational & entertainment purposes. Please consult your advisor before implementing any ideas heard on this podcast.

Dr. Jay   

Alright Childfree Wealth listeners, we're going to talk about a weird topic, but it actually came to me from a client. And I've been using it a lot lately. People are like, that makes sense. And it is real simple. It's called forced adulting. One of my clients described what we do as forced adulting. And I was like, I think I like that term. I don't really know what it means, but I'm gonna… we're going to try to explain it just hit me. Right. What do you think Bri?


Bri  

I think that is very true after seeing multiple clients, because it's a lot of things that need to be done, and you need to get them done. And it's easier to have somebody you're paying to hold you accountable to actually get those things done.


Dr. Jay   

Yeah. And just to take you behind the scenes, we meet with our clients on a monthly basis. And we're working on one or two things they want to talk about one or two things we want to talk about. And we hold accountable the following meeting. So every month we give them homework, there's things to study, work on. And they're kind of forced to come back to the principal's office some explained it to me as. I mean, I'm not gonna yell at you if you don't do your stuff. But it's like this self imposed, like, I don't want to go back to that meeting and not have my homework done. And it's all done tongue in cheek, you know, we're having fun with it. But I think there is something to add accountability. Of like, yep, we said this what we got to do, we have come back, and in full transparency. I've got Bri and her wife as my clients, and I do that to Bri. Have you felt it on your side?


Bri 

Yeah, but usually, I'll get it done. And then I'll do different things. Like right now I, I'm changing some things up and you're like, yeah, I figured you were gonna do that. It just took you a while. Because it's not necessarily things that we would recommend. It's just the fact that I want to play with some things and having that accountability, like okay, I gotta get my other stuff done. So that way I can do these things that are more fun. 


Dr. Jay  

Well, yeah, I mean, what Bri’s hiding is literally I've heard her say, we've got our meeting tomorrow, I gotta get these things done. Because I know you're gonna ask about it. Right?


Bri

Airing, my dirty laundry there.


Dr. Jay 

By the way, so common, like, literally, I'll see emails from clients. I'll be like, hey, upload these forms, we gotta do this. 7:30 in the morning, I'll see it for our nine o'clock meeting like, it will be just, it has to do with age. I'm not judging. It's just human nature. I'm over here trying to review it before the meeting, and you give me like three minutes to do it. But all right. So let's talk about forced adulting. We're gonna talk about a couple different things. And we're just gonna kind of riff on things we should be doing as adults. By the way this has nothing to do with age. I got some people in their 60s learning forced adult doing, I've got people their 20s. It's the things that we're not taught to do. So for example, right now, we're recording this in November, it's going to air later. But right now we're in the middle of open enrollment season. This is like looking through all of your benefits, like, what should your health care plan be? Do you have disability insurance? Should we get life insurance? What does it cover? You know, how do we set the 401k through it? That's one of those that like, takes time to do. I was just reviewing a client's stuff and they got like, literally 42 different options for medical. That's hard to do. Like, I just picked the first one. And that's it. I'm like, that's not adulting that is just randomly selecting things. What have you seen Bri?


Bri 

Yeah it can be hard to go through things and like, even if, you know, stuff, like I knew what I was doing, and I was still like, Hey, can you look at this quick to just double check, make sure I didn't miss anything. Because sometimes we're too close to our own things that we can easily miss things. And so I had my plan. Unlike clients, I have to do a little bit more work and research and if I ask for like, hey, recommendations, it is not Yeah, here you go. It's, well what did you figure out? Like, what do you think that is kind of how my knees golf


Dr. Jay  3:55  

Bri is held to a higher standard. Here's your force adulting point for you. If you're listening to us, each year you get open enrollment. If you're… whether you're a sole proprietor, you run your own business or you work for somebody else. Once a year you get to change healthcare benefits. Once a year, you could change all the company benefits. Here's how we do it. First thing is we looked through the entire document to see what changed and sometimes companies are kind of slick. They're like, oh, by the way, you know making this change and you're like, wait a minute, that's 100 bucks extra out of my paycheck or something like that. So you want to see that especially with health care, health care costs go up every year, plans have changed. We can do a whole separate episode on how to pick the right health care plan but you have to look at it each year to see what fits you also want to look at disability insurance big thing for childfree folks gotta be in there. You will want to go through the benefits document.


One of the things I often find people overlook is usually something called a perks program or something like that. We get discounts from places like I somebody they other day had a discount Verizon. My wife had that through our workplace and it was a 15% discount for just like putting your email address it awesome. You want to go to every single year people like well, nothing shake, no things change every year. When you're looking through it look for free stuff. There's a lot of free stuff like there's somebody frequently now, hey, you get 10 free therapy sessions, or I get tuition assistance, while they're offering you two grand a year for tuition assistance. If you don't take that you're giving the company free money, you want to find those things. I will say when I've been looking at benefits, some of them are really good for childfree, folks, and some not so much. So be aware of that.


You also want to look for things like employee stock purchase plans, bonuses, other things, you need to have a plan for that. So this once a year to check it. The other thing I tie in to your annual check ins, is your beneficiaries. You want to go through and see who is your beneficiaries on your retirement accounts you'll ever show. It's all that do the watch. Is it last year, I'm like, yes, you still should check it every year. Because sometimes, like you changed it on like the 401k site, but the HR site wasn't changed. An HR site updates the 401k site, and next thing you know, it's going in the wrong beneficiary. And by the way, for you forgotten, married, divorced, change your relationship, you got gotta change your beneficiaries. Yeah, the last thing you want is your ex getting it. Bri’s like, yeah, I've seen that. It's so common. It's one of the things you gotta watch out for anything else and open enrollment that you watch out for Bri.


Bri 

Sometimes companies will give you disability insurance, Long Term Disability Insurance, don't think it's good enough. Go through and check to see if you need to get more like a supplemental plan. Because I've seen ones where looking at what they would cover versus what the income is, it is not even close to drop in the bucket. So double check that and make sure it is adequate for you. And don't just assume what they give you is going to be good.


Dr. Jay  

Great, so forced adulting number one was open enrollment. Forced adulting number two, by the way there’s no real numbers, I'm just putting it with numbers so that I have them in my brain. I'm gonna let Bri handle this one. Because it's one of her favorites. Forced adulting number two is budgeting or having some type of structure for your money. 


Bri 

It's not what I thought you're gonna say but, okay, yes, having structure for your money. I always like to say every company has a budget, you should too, because if your company didn't have a budget, they won't be able to pay you so how do you think you're gonna be able to operate your household if you're not following a budget or have like idea of where your money is going. I don't care what platform you make your budget on. But make sure it works for you. We often do the money management system with clients, we list out your must shows codes and once and that prioritizes them. And then you can either track them using a spreadsheet, I do that. But I also I recently switched to using Monarch. So it's an app you can use as well, that automatically updates things for you and go in there, paying attention to that. Budgeting is proactive. Tracking is reactive. So a lot of people say, oh, I'm creating a budget. But really what they're doing is just tracking their expenses. And budgeting is creating a plan before the timeframe starts, for where your money is going to go. And then you track to make sure you're staying within that budget.


Dr. Jay

And by the way, we are not talking about cutting back everything you enjoy.


Bri

Nobody said cut back.


Dr. Jay

We just have to have a plan for it. Okay, I keep all the streaming services, that's part of my budget. Is it the right best financial decision? No. Alright, you're allowed to make mistakes or spend on whatever you want, or whatever, as long as it's within a certain amount. I had a lot of people like, well, I don't want to talk about my expenses. I'm like, well, if you don't talk about your expenses, I can't figure out any of your other numbers. Because I have no clue what you have left at the end of year. And I don't really care like did you spend $3 at this place, and $7 at this place. Who cares. I want to know the big categories. What are spending money on. And one of my fun ones fun being in quotes here is to figure out what your stuff budget was. This is how much you spend on just stuff over the past year, that did not bring you happiness. And usually, it's about a third of your take home right now for most people. It's the mindless spending. It's the Amazons of the world's. DoorDash. It's the other things that at the end of the year didn't bring you any joy. But you're just mindlessly spending money. What I find is most people have something they can cut out of there. I mean, I'm not talking if you're paycheck to paycheck, your bonus extra money and stuff, but you have to have a feel for it. Because we're like, well, but I don't want to cut back my travel. I’m like no. What we can do is put more money towards travel and less towards stuff. Like, Oh, that makes sense.


Bri 

And that's a frequent line to like you will go and double travel budgets, and be like, hey, you say this is important more than this, so let's double your travel budget and stop spending on random things that you don't care about. 


Dr. Jay

And by the way, the force adulting part of that is if I have them focused on a bigger goal, they'll spend less money on the other stuff. Because it's like do I want this item from Amazon or do I want to go to Paris? It makes it easier. Dining out big one. You can dine it out. But you need to have a budget for it. Bri and I have an ongoing battle because I think an expensive dinner’s about 70 bucks. And she thinks about double that. Our wives have different tastes. And that's okay. That's part of that adulting is having a budget and a plan for, right?


Bri 

Yes, that is true. That was an over the weekend conversation.


Dr. Jay 

Yep. So what we're doing with the force adulting. And budgeting, we're really saying just have a plan for your money. Don't care what it is, we think I tried to do with clients to kind of force the adulting a bit is bringing the edges on them. So what we'll do is we'll have money automatically go to their savings, or automatically go to their 401k or automatically go to another account or go to sinking funds or other things. They have less spending money in their account. If you have less spending money in your account, you tend not to like do mindless spending. Yeah, and that's the hard part is just to have a priority around it. You know.


When I work with clients on their, their budget, it's kinda like, they don't really want to tell me the truth of what's going on. And I'm like, I don't care. Tell me whatever it is, I'm not going to judge. We're just gonna put it on the sheet. Are you really hiding it from me? Are you hiding it from yourself? I think the other part with budgeting that’s forced adulting. If you're in a couple, you need to talk about your finances together. Just saying, and I'm gonna leave that one there. Well, we will do a separate one on couples, because that could be its own event.


Number three on forced budgeting, I'm gonna call it maintenance. Now, by the way, maintenance could be on your house, your car, your body, everything else. It's the preventative maintenance of we're not doing. So for example, if you own a house, if you don't clean out the gutters, you're gonna end up with a problem. You don't maintain things, paint, things, take care of things. And people don’t think about this until there's an issue. For example, you own a house, your heating system has vents that have a filter. If you don't change out that filter, the heating system works harder, which then blows the heating system which then is a whole lot of money because you didn't replace the $20 filter. The type of maintenance things as we call them, we'll put them in sinking funds for the house & the car become important. And I'm lumping in there. The maintenance of your house. Yeah. How did you go to your primary care? Doc? Did you get your mammogram? Did you get your scans? Did you get all the preventive maintenance on you? Because what happens is when you're coming out of rent and ramen, so you've been just barely making ends meet, and you go into where you actually have some money, you need to do all the things that you've put off. They called deferred maintenance on your car and your house. People go well, but when I'm broke, I can't afford maintenance. Well, the truth is, if you know for the maintenance, you're gonna have to afford the breakdown. Let me there's no choice. It's part of the reason why emergency funds get hit so hard. When you're coming out of paycheck to paycheck. Why do you think break?


Bri 

That is true, I just got to point with the car maintenance, if you are paycheck to paycheck and really struggling. There often services that will take into car maintenance for you for free in areas. So you can just Google like free car maintenance. And there are auto repair shops that sometimes will do that. They're completely dedicated to that.


Dr. Jay

But it is this because they're trying to sell you something else.


Bri

No, no, there's like actual nonprofits that I've worked with who do this. There's one up in North Dakota, it's called Fix it Forward. And they completely repair cars for free. They will get cars for people who need cars and just donate them.


Dr. Jay

That’s awesome.


Bri

Yeah, it's really good. But those are often the things that people don't want to set money aside towards. I know, we have a vehicle appointment here next week. And it's like, my goodness, that bills really gonna suck. But you know, we need to do it. Otherwise, we're going to have issues later on. And that is important to do. But also, when we go to put those in somebody's budget for the first time, they're often like, well, do we really need to do that? Okay, well, have you done any of these things? No. Well, you're gonna have a larger bill later on. 


Dr. Jay  

And some just general rules about 1% of your home value a year and maintenance. Now the problem with that with houses is that it’s lumpy. So if you have to replace the roof it’s 20 grand, but we go to the next year and pay nothing. That's the problem. I actually am kind of weird. I love doing maintenance things because I know it's saving me money and it's also building kind of capacity.


One of my colleagues started say a fully funded emergency fund now changes it to just an annoyance spot. Yeah, like you can handle it. Well, the problem is when you don't do the maintenance, you have emergencies. So you have to find that balance between the two. And I've had people go well, I bought a brand new house. I'm like, yeah, that means nothing. Seriously, things break and contractors are cheap, but it just happens. Same with new cars. Yeah, you were a little less maintenance upfront, but you need tires, brakes, oil change, whatever it is, you know, you got your Tesla. Yeah, you don’t need the oil change, but you still need tires. You know, there's different things, if you can stay ahead of it.


I had somebody asked me yesterday at 1% for house what's the national standard for cars? There's a number of colleagues estimate 750 to 1000 bucks a year. But there's a huge difference there between, hey, I've got a brand new car, and I've got a piece of junk in where you live. And the best bet is look at what you paid last year, and plan on that.


Bri

Or get quotes too.


Dr. Jay

Yeah, what we do is we spread it across the year. So if I'm going to spend a 1200 bucks a year on my car made and so we put 100 bucks a month aside, in a sinking fund, sinking fund emergency funds, those are all part of basic adulting that you need to get used to and managing your accounts and different things. While I’m there, you need to know where all your money is going. That's a basic thing of where my are my accounts, where's it going, how much are we making? You need to have some control over it.


Alright what, Bri thought I met the first time when I said one of her favorite topics. This is actually her favorite topic is estate planning. Who's going to take care of her when you die in your power of attorney and the case a die fall. So tell me about the adulting there Bri.


Bri 

Yeah, having your estate planning done is going to include your will, which says where you want things to go after your death. And then power of attorney, there's financial and medical, those are in place that in the event that you cannot take care of those yourself or make decisions, then whoever you select as your power of attorney can make those decisions for you. And then an in case I die file says everything where things are listed at, I actually I'll put it in the show notes. But there's somebody we met from FinCon, Dying Kindness, is the business and I just downloaded her death binder last night and am using it for myself. And I was like, well, there's things in there that I wouldn’t have thought of to put in mine saying like, who needs to be notified of your death? Like, who the contacts are for your work? Because let's say something, especially if you're a soloist and you pass away, and somebody's taking care of things well, How's work going to know you passed away?


Dr. Jay 

So because Bri doesn’t come to the meeting.


Bri 

That is actually a valid concern that we've had conversations about if I don't show up at a meeting better call a check for me.


Dr. Jay 

Yeah. And by the way, when Bri and I first started working together, she literally introduced me to her, her wife gave away all my contact info in case anything happened. Makes good sense. We call it contingency planning in the financial world. You need to have a plan for this. And by the way, when do you need to have a will & power of attorney? Today. I don't care what age you are, where you are. Today. It's one of those adulting things to do. While you're there. Double check your beneficiaries on everything, you want to have a plan for that. Also, if you have pets, you need to plan for them. You want to think about it. But if you're disabled or you die, who's taking the pets, we happen to have a jerk of a cat and a giant dog, meaning they're both a little hard to place. So not only do we have to have a plan for them, but we have to plan to bribe somebody to take them by giving them money. When you’re trying to rehome a 155 pound English Mastiff, it's just a little harder to find a home. So that's all part of that estate planning. 


Number five on forced adulting, what's your plan for mom and dad? I'm calling this one out. Because we've had a lot of clients lately, having some really good conversations with their parents about things like, hey, how are you doing financially? Do you have a will do you have a power of attorney? But also like, is there an estate coming? Is there money coming? Is there not? There’s kind of like two schools you have on this. It’s like the parents that the childfree folks are going to have to take care of. And then there's the parents that are going to send money down in the future. And I find that people avoid both of those conversations. They don't want to talk about like mom's gonna need help. And they also don’t want to talk about, well, Mom's gonna give me money. And they’re like, I'm just gonna ignore it. If it happens, it happens. Like, if it happens, it happens, is not adulting.


Bri  

I think I made a comment about oh, well, if it comes, that's great. And you said don't live in la la land.


Dr. Jay 

You gotta have a plan. And by the way, if you think you could have to care for your parents, which by the way, you probably are, you need to set boundaries now. For example, nobody lives with me and my wife. Why? Because I can't do it. I'll still support them in different ways. That's a boundary. You need to have those before they get sick before they have it. If your parents are going to be giving you money, you need to understand the tax implications. There's different rules and changes to the estate planning tax that's going to happen in 2025. And you can't just be like lalalalala I don't see it. Which Bri tried.


Bri

Yeah, that didn't work out so well for me. 


Dr. Jay  

Alright, number six on the forced adulting is planning for your future. Sounds simple. But that's the difference in being an adult. A kid does what they enjoy, what feels good. An adult sets a plan and follows it. This could be saving for retirement, could be saving for a house, could be saving for whatever. It could be investing. I had a discussion with somebody today I was doing a q&a. And they're like, yeah, I don't understand stocks. And I'm like, cool, so learn. And that was not the answer. They were expecting. I'm like, you’ve got the rest of your life to understand your money. You have to have a plan for the future. Because oh, well, but you know, I'm young. I can’t. Well, if you start young saving for the future. Huge. And by the way, part of planning for the future is not having debt. I didn't put this on this list because we're gonna do a separate conversation on debt and getting out of debt as being part of adulting. You could follow that or the 8 No-Baby steps program. But you have to have a plan for the future. That plan is also the question of like, what do I want to be when I grow up? And that's the question I ask all my clients, and then they stare at me and just like go I don’t know. Have you seen it, Bri?


Bri  

Oh, yeah, I've seen it multiple times. And anybody who's like my age to people who are in our 70s, they'll ask and the responses are, they're very interesting. A lot of people go, oh, I never thought about that. Or maybe this, but I don't really know.


Dr. Jay  

Yep. You don't want the 18 year old version of you making decisions for this seventy year old version of you. So whatever age are now it's like, okay, cool. Acknowledge where you are, then. And then figure out your future. So I’ll ask about what goals matter to you, we all get to set our own goals, like living example, planning for the future for me. So I'm looking at it to say I am going to do this job for 10 or 15 years. And then I want to get a boat and travel the world. Well, what that means is I have to have the company ready to be run by somebody else in 10 to 15 years. By the way, that’s Bri, hint hint. Like we’ve got to have people in place to do these things. And I don't really know what the world's gonna look like 15 years from now, but I need to have somewhere around it. The other thing I've been doing now for me, personally, I like to for others, is for the future, not only having like a fire number, like a number, hey, I got enough money, quit my job, but also having a maximum number. Like, hey, if I hit this much, I have to quit my job. And people think that's crazy. But it's like, no, at some point, if you're childfree, you're putting money towards your estate you don't care about. And you need to say like, when are you going to stop? Now each person's number is different. But that's all a plan for the future. So Bri, what did I miss on the fort forced adulting list?


Bri 

Having your insurance done properly, and making sure everything that includes like homeowners insurance, car insurance, don't let yourself have inadequate coverage. Having an umbrella policy, if you have substantial assets or anything you need to protect, making sure those are all in place. So that way, in the event of an unfortunate situation, whatever that may be, you are protected.


Dr. Jay 

Yeah, I call it you don't need kid insurance anymore. Yeah. So when you're 16, well, I was 16 when I could drive, somebody was at wherever your top of your estate, you get the insurance, it's like the base minimum coverage. This is legal, because everything else is super expensive. Well, when you get your 30s and 40s, you actually need to get real coverage, you need some you know, $300,000 type coverage, not $25,000 coverage. And I have so many people where I’m like, FYI, you should do this.


The other one that reminds me of if your parents are still paying your bills, maybe it's time for you to pay some of those. I'm not saying you have to but I'm just saying for some people it's time, if it's something that they just gonna want to pay forever, fine. But like, I'm amazed like people in their 40s and they’re still on there parents cell phone plans, you can cover your own cell phone.


Bri 

I’m still on my parents plan and then I just pay them every month because it's cheaper that way.


Dr. Jay 

Get on your own plan, Bri. Go to Mint Mobile and you get it for 30 bucks.


Bri  

Absolutely not. It would double my costs. I'm not doing that. 


Dr. Jay 

This is the force adulting routine, I'm going to add it to her list. Eventually, we got to get her own plant. No, I’m joking about it. I'm gonna give in on that one. But my whole point is there's all these things that are built into our life that we don’t even think about that we need to handle.


The last one I'm going to bring up just because it's the only thing you're guaranteed in life, guaranteed two things: death and taxes. How about taxes, we’ve talked about estate planning, but taxes, you have to do your own taxes and you have to do them every year. And by the way, saying hey, I make cash so I don't have to put on my tax return. That's wrong. You need to do that. And by the way, your CPA has you sign a form or your tax filer, H&R Block, whatever use the form says you gave them all the information. That doesn't mean you know, like they're taking responsibility. You're responsible to know who do you have to pay? What? Who? 1099. Investing. Random things. You've got to understand taxes. Yes. I don't actually file my own taxes. I pay somebody to do it. But I still understand taxes. You need to have a plan for your taxes. That means traditional 401k, rollovers, retirement, Roth, all that stuff. You need to figure out your taxes. You cannot get away from this. If you're in a couple that we got to do. Then we’ve got to do married taxes. You’ve gotta do all that. You've got to have a plan for your taxes. You have to file them every year. No choice. Anything else you'd add Bri?


Bri 

I think that covers them all. I think that covers our main things.


Dr. Jay 

Yeah, the other one that's not there as I call it the hodgepodge the leftover, which is just, sometimes people just need a kick in the butt. The I joke that I go back and forth to pat you on the back and kick you in the butt. If you're doing the Lucy thing you know, every time with the football, you keep doing the same thing over and over and the same things happening, I’m going to kick you in the butt and say change something. If you are joking or lying to yourself, like all this little change, magically. You’ve got magical thinking, forced adulting says get over it. If you're avoiding something, forced adulting says, face it. If you're living in your own special world, but sometimes I do too. I freely admit that. You’ve gotta be in the real world. Another exaggeration of this is I got people that are so far into the let's call the news cycles, that they like the whole world is going to come to an end. That's possible. But the adulting thing says I have to have a plan in case it doesn't. Oh, I think we have to find that balance. And having somebody to call you out on it is important. You can be a friend, could be somebody you pay whatever it is. But you have that list of force adulting the other one of this one? It's kind of little test. If you're thinking about this, just the constant force adulting Oh, yeah, I need that. Well, then, it's time to do it. You already know the list. I don't wanna have to give you more or less you know, the things you've been avoiding or not doing or not handling or whatever it is. It's time by the way, it means some tough choices like, what are we gonna be and I grew up and actually growing up. That doesn't mean you don't have any fun. It just means you got to face it and have a plan and have a structure and look at your entire life. You're not gonna do it overnight. You've been a kid most of your life so don't think it happens overnight. And it's okay if you don't get it right. We're just gonna make improvements.